You do you – be your authentic self. No need to change unless being you isn’t working for you anymore!
Yes, this season isn’t really a season yet, just 2 sporadic episodes so far, but we hope to right this for the rest of the year!
In this episode of the FAQ Business Podcast, host Jane Tweedy dives into the importance of being your authentic self in business. You do you – be your authentic self. No need to change unless being you isn’t working for you anymore!
She discusses why blindly following gurus and imitating others may not lead to true success, and shares a simple exercise to illustrate the effort taken to not be you. Jane also explores the role of business coaches and their impact on decision-making, emphasising the importance of making choices that align with your own values. Tune in to discover how embracing your uniqueness and being true to yourself can positively impact your business and foster trust with clients and employees.
This is an episode in thought leadership and is intended to challenge you to think.
Listen to the episode on all good podcast services, watch on YouTube https://youtu.be/pSRPQRXO4xM or if you prefer to read, check out the transcript below.
Disclaimer – All information provided today is general in nature. Please reach out to Jane for personalised advice and coaching. Please subscribe to future episodes with your favourite podcast provider including Apple iTunes, Audible, iHeartRadio or Spotify or via https://faqbusinesspodcast.com.au
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FAQ Business Podcast transcript S3 Ep02 You do you, be your authentic self with your host Jane Tweedy
00:00 You do you. Be your authentic self.
Have you heard a guru say something and it just didn’t sit quite right for you? For me, one of those is the whole get up at 5:00 AM thing. When I’m far more creative before I go to bed at 1:00 AM. On today’s podcast and a mantra I’m emphasising this year. You do you. Be your authentic self.
00:22 Being you critical in human led businesses
We’ll look at why showing up as your authentic self is critical in a human driven business, which let’s face it, which business isn’t. And we’ll also look at why you can’t always hide behind you do you, as an excuse, not to change.
00:39 Welcome to the FAQ Business Podcast
Welcome to the FAQ Business Podcast for business owners covering four pillars, actionable education, inspiring leaders, businesses like you, and thought leadership, where we challenge your thinking. Hosted by myself, Jane Tweedy, I’m founder and lead trainer of FAQ Business Training, where we want to avoid you getting ripped off or ripping yourself off.
01:06 Maya Angelou’s meaning of success
Today’s episode of the FAQ Business Podcast is about you doing you. Using Maya Angelou’s quote. “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it.” So if you do something because someone else has told you what to do, it may mean you’re not liking yourself and therefore you won’t meet that measure of success.
01:33 I see people using a lot of energy and resources. To mimic what someone else has done. And my question is why?
01:43 Learning formulas can help
Learning successful formulas in life and business, sure can help us fast track us to success. But merely copying someone else because they said, so. Is not a great idea. Let’s look at a really simple example. For some of you, particularly if. You’re ambidextrous this might not be a big deal, but for some of you, it really will be.
02:06 Crossing arms example
Unless you’re driving in your car, don’t do this, but if you aren’t, then I want you to follow along with me. I want you to cross over your arms one. One arm on top of the other in front of you.
02:20 You should feel that that’s pretty comfortable. It’s what you normally do. It’s all cool. So, for those watching on video I’ve got my arms a little bit higher than normal, just to show you where they are. Okay. What I want you to do now is lift the arm that’s on the top. Now for me that arm is my left arm, and I am right handed. For you it may be the same arm or it may be different.
02:46 Now some people say, oh, It’s because of the handedness you are. It’s actually not. It’s just the way you do it. So, what if I told you instead of doing it the natural way, I said to you no, I want you to refold your arms, but do it the other way.
03:03 For most people it will feel uncomfortable
So for me, I’ve got to stop and think. And do it that way. But what then I also notice is that feels really uncomfortable to me. Like I said, if you’re ambidextrous, maybe it won’t, but for many of you, that’s going to feel uncomfortable.
03:18 Who’s to say it is the right way for you?
What if I then told you that the way that you were doing it, the second way, is the way that you have to do it from now on. ” That’s the right way to do it. Those that are successful in business, always fold their arms that other way”. So you force yourself to do it that way. My question is really? How would that make any difference at all? And why would we waste our effort conforming to something like that.
03:47 Sometimes we need to conform
Now sure. If you were in a dance performance, a dance troupe or something, even a military parade. Then everybody doing something the same way is important for the look of it. Right. So a hundred percent in a normal everyday situation, there is no need to conform, but there might be situational things where you do need to conform. My thing though, is start to question when you’re told to do something by somebody, even me. Question it. Does it sit right with you. Does it need to be done by you, or could you do it a different way?
04:25 You can polish a …
Also remember when we’re optimising any form of strategy, even a web page. If you have the wrong strategy to begin with, no matter how much you optimise that strategy, it will be the best of a bad option. After all, you can polish a turd, but it’s still a turd.
04:44 So I’m not saying to never adapt and change. But what I am saying, is stop to consider in the situation, can you do you and still be your authentic self.
04:59 Business coaches don’t tell you what to do!
I hear many people talking about their “business coach” and their “business coach” telling them what to do. Now, for business coaches, they actually shouldn’t be telling you what to do. That’s not actually their job.
05:16 For instance, a client recently was sort of suggested maybe she needed to rebrand. For a start a true business coach will not tell you what to do, but rather they will give you a hand with a framework so that you can come to a conclusion yourself.
05:32 Coach may supply a framework for your decision making
For instance, a client recently wanted me to tell her whether or not to hire a particular person for the role. I suggested what she needed to consider, both good and bad, and then ask certain questions, and finally choose based on her gut instinct. Bearing in mind in this scenario the person may not give answers that are truly reflective of her future position. She can only answer truthfully what she knows today.
06:02 But at the end of the day she came to me, “but I just want to know what to do”. Although I could easily have given her my opinion, it’s not my decision to make. However, because I am also an advisor and a trainer, I will give some stronger guidance about some things that you need to do in your business.
06:24 Make the right decision for YOU
But, I will always make sure the person understands they need to make their own decisions. Taking into account what they heard, and making sure it’s the right thing for them.
06:37 Definition of authentic self
So what does being your authentic self even mean? Authentic from the Oxford Languages dictionary says, it’s of undisputed origin and not a copy. Genuine.
06:52 Self means a person’s essential being. That distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.
07:03 So by rights, if we combine them together, your authentic self is a person’s essential being of undisputed origin. Not a copy. Genuine and distinguishable from others. Nowhere does that say to be like someone else. Nowhere does it say that. It really supports the idea that you do you.
07:32 Being authentic involves being true to yourself. Embracing your uniqueness and aligning your actions with your core values.
07:43 Do you believe in yourself?
I share an elephant in the room in many of my trainings, where self-doubt can creep in. You need to believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can anyone else?
07:56 No one else will ever be you!
You are uniquely you. Your mix of skills, your experience, your attitude, your perspective, your knowledge, your connections, and your thinking, all rolled into one, is you. It’s uniquely, you. No one else can ever have that combination. So focus on being the best you, you can be.
08:22 How could showing up as yourself and being authentic positively impact you as a small business or an entrepreneur?
08:30 You can align with your values
Firstly, as I’ve just indicated, being yourself allows you to align with your values. It uses the least energy attempting to be something you’re not. And allows you to focus on being the best unique you that you can be.
08:47 Do what suits you
Rather than forcing yourself to wake up at 5:00 AM when you consider yourself a night person, like me. You can use your peak processing time of 10:00 PM to 1:00 AM instead. And let’s face it most of the 5:00 AM arguments result from it’s quiet at that time, you can get a lot done. Well, I can tell you at midnight, it’s quiet then too.
09:13 So check out our podcast on the most productive time of the day for my very strong views on this topic, and why it is so important to plan your day around you.
The Most Productive Time of the Day: — refer out podcast https://faqbusinesstraining.com.au/most-productive-time-of-day/
09:26 Being you builds authenticity and trust
Being you allows you to display authenticity. Which allows you to build trust with your customers, your clients and your employees.
09:36 I find mornings draining
For myself, I gave the early morning starts a red hot go. And in fact, in a couple of roles in my twenties, I did have to start work at 6:00 AM on some days. Although I did it, I found these shifts to be so much more draining than a normal day start time, or even a night shift. If you can schedule your day around your best times, then your day will be more productive.
10:07 For instance, I do tell clients don’t book me at 9:00 AM if you want help with copy. It won’t flow out of me like it does in the afternoon. But I guess now, given that I don’t need to rely on me. I could resort to something like ChatGPT or AI for the idea flow, then maybe I can still help them.
10:29 Cause I’m certainly capable of giving them instructions and things, I just find the creative doesn’t flow as well at that time of the morning.
10:37 Being authentic can be challenging.
Due to fear that we face, and societal expectations to be ‘normal’. In fact, ironically while I was breaking during the preparation for this episode, I happened to see a poll up on LinkedIn by CoachHub, and there was a fairly equal split to the biggest factor holding you back from being your authentic self at work.
11:04 And the even split was around fear of judgment or rejection, pressure to conform, and the impact it might have on your job or business.
11:16 Why do we jump to fear of rejection?
Any form of fear holds us back, and the fear of rejection is always a huge one. However, why do we jump to that fear of rejection? What about the joy of being accepted. We need to learn to look at the positives too, and not just the negatives.
11:36 Pause for intelligent thinking
I see many people who follow along with what gurus say without any pause for intelligent thinking. Note that I said intelligent not just critical. We need to listen to our dreamer, our critic and our realist, known in the coaching circles as the Disney strategy.
11:58 Remember the arm crossing example. Dancing in a troupe or maybe even a military parade, sure conforming will give a better aesthetic, but in a normal situation, who cares which way you fold your arms.
12:13 It’s okay to repel prospective clients
Yes. Speaking up and being you may cost your clients or potential clients. Particularly if they don’t know that your values and their values don’t align. But if they don’t align with the real you, do you want to have them as clients anyway? It is okay to both attract, but also to repel clients.
12:40 Being vulnerable can help with human connection
To show your authentic self may mean you need to be more vulnerable. Particularly in a world post COVID lockdowns, people recognise the power of human connection, even when it’s online. Being vulnerable and expressing your authentic self can be vital to creating that much stronger human connection.
13:02 An example of this is often the discussions you have post networking meetings. Or maybe over an extra drink or something afterwards, maybe in the car park. I found it’s these chats with these people, that form the strongest bonds, because you’re tending to be more yourself. Not really an issue for me as you might’ve guessed, but for others, it can help them to share that vulnerability.
13:29 You do you, doesn’t mean ignoring change
But does you do you give you the permission to stay the same. No! Absolutely not. Don’t get me wrong there. Putting your head in the sand will suffocate you and your business eventually and will bury you.
13:47 Change happens, whether we like it or not, we need to recognise evolution happening around us and even preempt it.
13:55 Using you do you as as an excuse to hold onto a past that no longer serves you is not a healthy idea. Change still needs to happen, and whether you like it or not, you need to embrace change.
14:08 How can you be your authentic self?
In the spirit of our pillar of actionable education, how can you be your authentic self? Firstly, you can take small steps towards authenticity, in your personal and professional life. And it doesn’t need to be all or nothing from today on.
14:26 Self-reflection is always a great strategy and a great place to start.
14:31 Identify your core values
Identify your core values and align your actions to those values. We do have a short course online to help you identify those values if you’ve never really thought about what they are. And check out the notes from this podcast for that link.
Course and exercise on values: https://faqbusinesstraining.com/p/ttt10-why-values-and-mission-may-be-your-missing-key-course
14:49 Decide, which of those values to publicly display on your socials and your website. You don’t need to showcase them all. But I strongly suggest showcasing those that are really going to cause you alignment issues with clients down the track.
15:06 Create a compliments folder
Another thing to do is create a compliments and feedback folder, both online and in real life. When you receive feedback and compliments file them away for tough days. This can really help conquer that self-doubt demon, when it creeps in, when you’re having a bad day.
15:26 Start to show up as your authentic self. Show yourself in your socials, showcase your core values.
15:33 As one of mine is about avoiding people getting ripped off. I do occasionally do a rant about others ripping people off. Typically I’ll put those on Instagram. I find they get received really well there, but don’t dwell on negatives. Okay. So it is a very occasional thing to do.
15:53 You do you!
You need to do you, you be you. You do you. Being your authentic self is the only thing truly unique. Your uniqueness is the one thing that people can’t take away from you. And the one thing that people can’t compete with. Being you allows you to align your values, your words, and your actions in the way that uses the least amount of energy. You’re not trying to be something you’re not. So you do you.
16:27 What stops you from being your authentic self?
Without copying others, you will stumble across things that may benefit others. I have, for instance, many clients who tell me they love that I will be honest with them. I will challenge them, and I will speak my mind about what I care about. What holds you back from doing that for you?
16:46 Reach out if you need help
Sure not everyone will accept you. And we already know not everyone needs to follow you, because they need to do them. If you are ready to dig deeper and find out how you can be there, and there are various ways that we can help you, in addition to the little things we mentioned earlier.
17:04 Coaching sessions can challenge your thinking, and focus on breaking into those limiting beliefs that may be holding you back.
17:12 Training wise, we have sessions like the values Tea Time Tip that can help you align your values. And there’s a great exercise to do in that.
Course and exercise on values: https://faqbusinesstraining.com/p/ttt10-why-values-and-mission-may-be-your-missing-key-course
17:21 And, I can also help you understand your thinking preferences so you can communicate with others better.
17:29 How are you showing up?
I challenge you. Look at how you’re showing up. Are you being your authentic self? Are you doing what is right for you or are you doing what you think you need to do to copy someone else? Remember you do you.
17:45 You can show up slightly differently, but still you do you!
We can adapt how we show up. Sure we may want to show up slightly more polished in our LinkedIn version of ourselves over our Tik Tok version, but make sure it’s all authentic. It’s just the slightly more professional version of you. Give yourself permission to be you. You do you.
18:05 Recognise when you need to change
However also recognise when being you is not making you happy. It’s not working for you. Or things are about to change markedly in your environment. In those times adapt to the new circumstances. You will change and adapt to others, but you will not cross what it means to be you.
18:27 Thank you for listening to the FAQ Business Podcast
Contact Jane (me) to get in touch about anything we discussed today. Remember to subscribe to us on either the podcast or on YouTube, so that you can get more information, or subscribe to our email list to get email updates from us. We look forward to connecting with you again soon.
18:49 Thank you for listening to today’s episode of the FAQ Business Podcast, available on all good podcast services. You can subscribe today via faqbusinesspodcast.com.au. Subscribe, follow, share, and where able review our podcast. We look forward to inspiring and educating you again on the FAQ Business Podcast.
Related:
The Most Productive Time of the Day: — refer out podcast https://faqbusinesstraining.com.au/most-productive-time-of-day/
Course and exercise on values: https://faqbusinesstraining.com/p/ttt10-why-values-and-mission-may-be-your-missing-key-course
Today’s podcast episode featured our host Jane Tweedy. Her details are as follows:
Jane is a Professional Certified Coach with International Coaching Federation (PCC with ICF), business advisor and trainer. She loves working with growing small to medium business owners who are doing the right thing, to help them do it right! Currently, Jane offers at least 80 live sessions a year to train small business owners.
Jane offers a variety of services to clients and her online school and membership. Jane’s focus for 2023 is building the membership and online school out further, and offering implementable bite-sized training – something she finds is often the missing link.
If you are interested in training, speaking, or anything else Jane has to offer, please connect via training@faqbusiness.com.au or via the contact forms on our websites.
faqbusinesstraining.com.au – our main site with a great blog
faqbusinesstraining.com – our online school and membership
faqbusinesspodcast.com.au – our podcast site
And on the socials …
Facebook https://facebook.com/faqbusinesstraining
LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/janetweedy https://linkedin.com/company/faqbusinesstraining Instagram https://instagram.com/faqbusiness
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